1. The models you see in fitness magazines probably don’t even workout (hence the horrible form) and if they do it’s something along the lines of talking a “hike” (also known as a WALK) with their yorkie poo 2-3 times a week.
2. The models you see in the more “serious” magazines are nearly all on steroids, have an eating disorder, and probably aren’t really that strong (not that you cared much about being strong at 13.)
*Side note for 1 and 2; don’t ever forget the power of airbrushing, make up, a professional photographer, deliberate lighting, and Photoshop when looking at fitness, fashion, and celebrity pictures. None of those bitches really look that good.
3. The diets posted in any magazines are sure to make you gain weight due to it’s inclusion of grain products in nearly every meal and terrible macronutient ratios. Gotta make the USDA and those companies buying ads happy. Trust me, you don’t “need your whole grains.”
4. If you’re genetically predisposed to being built “like one of those rap guy’s girlfriends,” you will never get rid of your quads and butt; one day you’ll be so glad you didn’t.
5. Your Dad was right. Guys like butts and thighs. Especially those that are capable of feats of speed and strength.
6. Physical strength is sexy, enviable, and will set you apart amongst a sea of skinny girls and weak women.
7. Extreme dieting will wreck your body, your hormones, your bones, and cause damage it will literally take decades to undo.
8. You should take more gymnastics classes.
9. Cellulite has very little to do with how fit you are. You can (and will) have visible abs and still have cellulite on your legs. Some of the fittest women on the planet have cellulite. Put on your shorts. Get over it.
10. Do something athletic to get better at it, not just to “workout.” Focus on performance and the body will follow. Guys love athletic women and the sense of accomplishment that you get from doing something that 99.9% of your peers can’t do is amazing. Doing a real pullup is a much better way to be attractive to an athletic guy than just being another skank in Baby Gap sized clothing.
What would you have told your pre-teen self? Tell us here or on the Seaward CrossFit Facebook page.